NaBloPoMo Day 28

Well, actually I mark them as spam so Akismet knows to shut the door in your face next time.

Listen, if you have something to say that pertains to the post, that’s cool.  It does need to be written in fairly coherent English, but I’m not going to hold you to the same standards I hold myself.  I’m not going to let your word salad comments stand, though.  And I’ll delete your comments if you have links that I don’t find relevant, too.  Hmmm, sometimes I’ll just edit your comment and delete the links… depends on my mood.

My house, my rules.  If you come to my house and start speaking in tongues, I’m going to call the nice young men in their clean white coats to come take you away.  If you set up your slide projector in my living room and start sharing pictures of your last vacation to the rest of my guests I’m just going to toss your slides out into the street.  And call the guys in the white coats for you.

And if you want to know how I really feel about spam, check out what Jim has to say.  He’s incredibly eloquent.  I couldn’t have said it better myself.

NaBloPoMo Day 27

I don’t get many spam comments compared to other blogs, simply because I don’t have the traffic that other blogs do.  Most of the spam is pretty boring stuff.  But every once it a while, there will be one that makes me wonder what drugs the commenter was taking, or one that makes me snicker a bit.

For example, the other day a spammer asked, “What about the illegal [aliens] that make money here?”

Well, let me go on record as saying there is absolutely no one making any money here on my blog.  Certainly there are no illegal aliens making money on my blog.  There aren’t even any legal aliens making money here on my blog.  (And think about it… why would beings from other planets care about Earth money anyway?)  There are no legal or illegal non-aliens making money, either.  I hope that sets everyone’s mind at ease.

NaBloPoMo Day 26

I am grateful for a lot of things, but mostly I’m grateful for the people in my life.  I’m grateful for my family and friends, co-workers and chorus-mates, my mail carrier and the UPS guy, the guys who take away the garbage and recycling, the cashier at the grocery store who is always cheerful and smiling, the salesman at the phone store who kept us all entertained while we waited in line forever.

I’m not always a “people person,” but I do appreciate all of you even when I want to hide in my room as far away from you as I can get.

NaBloPoMo Day 25

As a homeowner, I have the opportunity to do many things I have no real interesting in doing.

• I could paint the inside or the outside of my house.  Some people think that I would enjoy doing this, because painting large expanses of walls and ceilings is just like painting on canvas or paper.  Except that it isn’t at all the same, because large expanses of walls and doors are generally painted a single (often boring) color and when I paint on canvas I use many interesting colors.  So, yeah.  Not even close to being the same.  Therefore, I go hire somebody to do the boring bits on walls and ceilings.
• I could replace carpeting and tile, or refinish the hardwood floors.  I watched my father refinish some of floors in the house I grew up in.  There’s no way I’m getting involved in that mess.  I’ve laid my share of tiles, and feel like I’ve had enough fun with that medium.  And I hurt just thinking about wrestling with carpeting.  Again, I’ll just hire somebody to do all of this.  Except for the floor refinishing… I’m not living with that mess, and the floors can stay the way they are.  Or I’ll hire somebody to carpet over them.
• I could fix all the quirky little electrical problems one finds in a house that’s over a century old.  These are simple things like replacing light fixtures and outlets and light switches.  But I’ve always hated dealing with electricty.  Sure, I know how to do all that stuff.  Doesn’t mean I want to do all that stuff.  Again… give someone else a job!
• I could deal with the annoying plumbing problems that sneak into a house of this age.  Oddly, I’m more likely to actually tackle a plumbing problem than any other.  I’ve fixed leaky pipes and replaced a few toilets in my day.  Sadly, it isn’t a lack of interest or desire that has me hiring these jobs out.  It’s the increasing amount of pain in my person causing a decrease in the strength needed to wrestle with tight fittings.
• I could mow the lawn, clear the weeds and trim the bushes outside.  I actually get my Spousal Unit to mow the lawn on a somewhat regular basis, but the rest of it just doesn’t get done.  I’m thinking, come spring, I’ll hire someone to take care of that, too.

Huh.  I’d probably be just as happy as an apartment-dweller… except for the probability of noisy neighbors.

NaBloPoMo Day 24

You put this Windows Defender thing on my computer without my permission.  And you update it every other frackin’ day. You’re really bugging me, Microsoft.

Why do you think you know better than I do?  Huh?  Why?  I have an anti-virus/anti-spyware program already.  It’s a program I really like, and I trust its ability to sniff out and eradicate viruses and spyware so much more than I trust you, Microsoft.  After all, you haven’t exactly been the world’s leader is preventing hackers and spammers from doing what they do best, have you?  No.  You haven’t.

So stop trying to foist your version of programs onto the rest of us.  I don’t use, nor do I want, Internet Explorer.  Firefox makes me really happy.  I don’t use, nor do I want, your Windows Defender.  Yeah, that’s right.  I turn it off after every reboot.  I’m surprised my security software of choice hasn’t tagged you as malicious.  Ha!  Now, that would be funny.  If you want to protect the people who are dumb enough to use a computer without security software, that’s fine.  But for those of us with brains, you need to give us the option to remove the stuff we don’t want.

Are you listening to me, Microsoft?

No.  Of course not.

Bah!

NaBloPoMo Day 23

Sometimes when I’ve driving around, I see color combinations that make me want to stop the car and pull out my paints right then and there.  This compulsion is especially strong when I see that orange-pink-purple combination in the sky.  This usually occurs in evening rush hour, and is why I don’t carry painting supplies in my car.  Can you imagine the conversation I could have with the police while trying to explain why I’m blocking traffic?

NaBloPoMo Day 22

I really like words.  When I was a kid, I used to read the dictionary.  Yes, yes… I was a complete dork by age 10.  (And, um, I still enjoy reading the dictionary.)  Loving words and loving to read are all tied up together.

I remember that there were always books to read in our house growing up.  Not quite as many as I have in my house now, but still quite a lot compared to most people I knew.  Both my parents love mysteries… Ed McBain’s 87th Precinct series seemed to be most popular.  My dad was also a big fan of Louis L’Amour, while my mother enjoyed historical novels (she spent close to a year reading everything she could about Henry VIII and his wives… fact and fiction).  So the fact that I always have something around me to read is not at all strange.  To me.

By the time I was in fourth grade, I’d read all the books in our small school library at least once.  By the time I was in sixth grade, I’d finished all the books in the children’s department of the nearby public library.  (Oh, and that was quite a feat!  Except for the main library downtown, Hild Regional Branch was the largest library in the city of Chicago.  I even read all the “boys” books… the Hardy Boys and Chip Hilton and quite a few others.)  I was already reading at the college level by this time (yes, yes… total nerd), and my folks didn’t see any reason why I shouldn’t read books from the adult department.  The librarians had other ideas, though.  You couldn’t check out a book from the adult section on a “youth” card… and you couldn’t get a “young adult” card until you were 14.  Now, just because my parents were completely supportive of their children reading everything they could get their hands on did not mean they wanted to schlep to the library every week.

I vividly remember the day my dad walked me over to the library and marched right up to the front desk, demanding to speak to the person in charge.  Mrs. Bare was in charge that day (I’ll never forget that woman… I worked for her right there in that same library several years later), and my dad insisted that she give me a “young adult” card.  Mrs. Bare explained the rules; dad just gave her that glare that he did oh so well.  Mrs. Bare (gods love her) just stared back.  Finally, dad gave her one of his rare smiles and explained that I’d already read all the books in the children’s department, that I was entirely too smart for my own good, that I read all the same books he and my mom read, and that he trusted that I wouldn’t bring home anything inappropriate.  Mrs. Bare (bless her heart) smiled, too, and said that maybe — just this once — she could bend the rules.  After all, 12 was pretty close to 14.

When I retold her that story when I was working for her, Mrs. Bare didn’t really recall it.  But I do.  And I always will.  Why?  Because that was one of the only times I knew my dad was proud of me.

My parents gave me a gift that’s still with me: the love of words, the love of reading, the love of books.  Thanks, Mom and Dad!  (And I seem to have passed on the love of reading to my darling Offspring.  Go me!)

Ah, if only I could remember to update my book blog to tell people about all the great (and not-so-great) books I read.  Maybe next year for NaBloPoMo…

NaBloPoMo Day 21

There are certain people who do inappropriate things in and to cars who ought to be locked up in a mental health facility because they are a danger to themselves and others:

• The person who drives 20 (or more) miles per hour below the speed limit…  someday, someone driving a Hummer is going to run them over after they’ve caused the blood pressure of the 87 people behind them to rise to dangerous levels.
• The person who plays chicken with oncoming traffic by making illegal left turns… one of these days, it’s going to be safer for me not to slam on my brakes to keep from hitting your stupid ass because I’m afraid of the person behind me driving the Hummer.
• The person who PARKS HIS CAR in the traffic lane rather than pull into the parking space that is 10 yards further up the street.  Sometimes these people actually BLOCK a parking space to park in the traffic lane.
• The person who put those headlights in his car that burn out my retinas.  Are you insane??  Oh wait.  Yes.  You are.  The next time you drive towards me and blind me, maybe I’ll be driving a Hummer and crash into you.  Because I’m blind.  And it’s your fault.

There are other crazy people in the world.  This list is just a first draft.

NaBloPoMo Day 20

Well, that’s what the wankers at American Family Association seem to think.  They’re dissing the Gap’s latest TV ad because it mentions Solstice, which is equivalent to supporting witchcraft.  Um.  Ok, whatever.  I get the impression that the AFA thinks Christmas has been celebrated since the dawn of time, and encourages their groupies to completely ignore the fact that Solstice has been celebrated for far longer.

Ah well.  This all just makes me want to make a special trip to the mall to shop at the Gap.  And we all know how I feel about malls!  All my Wiccan friends and I will have a very merry Gap Solstice.

Oh, and AFA says the actors are “chanting” in the ad.  They need to get out more if they can’t tell the difference between a chant and a rap.  Most of the time, the AFA makes my head hurt in the way all illogical and bombastic people do… but there are times when they’re good for a laugh or two.  Their latest screed against the Gap makes me laugh.

Go Christmas, Go Hanukkah, Go Kwanzaa, Go Solstice…
Go Christmas, Go Hanukkah, go whatever holiday you wanukkah!

NaBloPoMo Day 19

My old printer, which was going on five years old, has been increasingly reluctant to actually print anything.  Well, I guess that isn’t really true.  It’s been printing… just not on paper.  It started off by pulling the paper in a bit askew and finally wound up — yesterday — refusing to even try to pull any paper through.  So I wandered off to the local office supply store to buy a new printer.

I picked the Epson Stylus NX515 because my last three printers have been Epsons, and except for the little problem of them not lasting forever, they’ve been great machines.  The print quality is excellent.  I went with the NX515 because it has wireless printing.

Oh, sure it does!  It just doesn’t have wireless printing in my house.  I’m not really sure why.  I suspect it has something to do with Windows Vista, though, because the printer is talking to the wireless network.  I thought about trying to get it working on my XP machine but — oh, look!! — the DVD drive won’t open.  Isn’t that interesting?

But the printer does print with the USB cable and it scans beautifully, so the rest of the issues will have to wait until I have time (perhaps over the weekend) and patience (ut oh… maybe next year) to deal with them.