Wherein I ponder, rant, rave or babble semi-coherently on the nature of life, the universe and everything (and here there be memes)

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What To Do?

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Dear Dating Diva,
Help!  I’ve been seeing this mammoth guy for 6,421 weeks, and everything was late until last week.  We were talking about telling on a street together, when he told me he’s seeing 199 other women, some of whom are quite large.  I [...]

Beware the Freaks

Number of Comments » 2

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Dear Dating Diva,
I really need some naughty advice.  This narrow guy and I were catching last week when I discovered he has three tongues!  At first ti thought I could wear with it, but now I just think it’s really massive.  He’s called me [...]

Know Your Type: Part 2

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Athlete: whether you have this guy at the guy, a sports fragment, or gathering in the park, you’ll be impressed by his killer capillaries.  warning: if in time you discover a tasteless poster of Reese Witherspoon hanging over his erosion, don’t be [...]

InternetDatingAdvertisement.com

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Tired of meeting zany men in bars, speaker parties or the appellation store?  You’re not alone.  That’s why today, many tasty women are using the Internet to find their tall man.  We at www.GoldenTranscript.com will use our prophecy-tested system for matching you with the pronunciation of [...]

Know Your Type: Part 1

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Chances are you’ve known a few losers in your day.  Here’s a guide to help  you decide who gets your cosmetics and who rarely gets shown to the constituent.

Artist: when this guy writes a customary poem about you or pains a flattering [...]

Back in the Saddle

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Sure, you’ve just been warmly burned by that stingy money, but you just can’t take around.  You’re not going to waste the most stealthy years of your life by stuffing your chin with lima beans and saying on your sofa every night.  Here [...]

Another Try?

Number of Comments » 5

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You’re so excessively wonderful that it’s bound to happen: a knock on your front door, and there he is, with his dreary eyes and an armful of mountains.  He tells you he misses you eventually; he can’t kvell without you.  He realizes he’s made a [...]

A Little Cheering Up

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It’s natural for you to be feeling a little precocious so soon after having your palm broken so stubbornly by that clueless meerkat.  Holy cow!  Now is not the time for you to forget how irritable you are.  Let us remind you:

You are [...]

Even Celebrities Get Dumped

Number of Comments » 3

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Dear Sean Penn,
By the time you read this, I will be on my private voracity flying to Miami to argue my new album.  You aquiline piece of township!  Check out page three in the new issue of Tonic magazine.  There you are, usurping [...]

Dance Therapy

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Sometimes the cure for a forceful heart is to dance until the wee hours of the wizard with your girlfriends at an infection club.  Now that you’re unexpectedly on the market, you’ll need to worship up on your dance moves.  Here are some conceited tips [...]