Sometimes I Want to Respond to Spammers

One of my other blogs is an art blog.  Every day, I post a new piece of artwork.  About the only words attached to any of these blog posts are enough to convey the size of the piece, the medium and support I used and the copyright information.  So… not too many words.  But I get dozens of spam comments like this every week:

Good info to know. Thank you for sharing. Great site keep up the good work!

Well.  Ok.  I’m not sure what information you found in that post that was so interesting that you had to (spammy) comment, but thanks.

Then there are the word salad comments:

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Essentially, the article is in point of fact the greatest on this noteworthy subject. I consent with your deductions and will sedulous look forward to your comming updates. Well with your authorisation approve me to take your feed to be up to speed with future posts. Thank you a million and please go on with the sound work.

Just wanna say your story is astounding . The cloudlessness in your story is just formidable and I can argue that you are an specialist on this sector. With your acceptance allow me to take your feed to be up to speed with future articles . Thanks a million and please keep up the fabulous work .

Mainly, the article is factual the greatest on this noteworthy issue. I consent with your conclusions and will eagerly look onward to your next updates. Well with your authorisation approve me to grab your feed to be up to speed with future articles. Thank you very much indeed and please go on with the phenomenal activity.

Notice a pattern?  It’s like this person (all these, plus 20 other similar comments over the course of three days, were written by the same person) was playing a Mad Libs game in the comment section.  Apparently, Akismet filters out that sort of thing.  Thanks goodness.  Here’s another with a similar theme:

Hello.  I like “Name of Post – Aerten Art”.  It was good.  Visit my blog sometime.

No.  I don’t think so.  Listen, you’ve got fucked up punctuation.  Ok, maybe not… if you’re in the UK.  I understand they put the punctuation outside the quotation marks over there.  Still, since I find it painful, and you’re only the sixth person this week to use this formulaic post, I’m not going to be visiting your blog before Hell freezes over.  And I probably won’t visit it then, as I’ll be too busy moving to the sun.  Here’s one that actually made me laugh:

Hey there it’s so pleasant to study your site to be a circus performer I love research the web and skim reports concerning carrying out arts.

Word salad plus completely irrelevant observations!  I’d give this one the prize today, except this one beat him out:

bolt patterns

I am both baffled and amazed at the randomness.  I’m going to try to keep track of some of the more interesting and bizarre comments I get on my three blogs, and share them (and my reactions) semi-regularly.  Because if you can’t mock spammers, what’s the point of being a Language Maven with a blog, eh?

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