Why I Hate UPS

I just hate UPS this week.  Most of the time, they deliver my packages on time, and with great courtesy.  Not this week, though.

Last week, I ordered a book from Amazon.  I needed this book to complete a project at work.  It was supposed to arrive at my house on Monday or Tuesday of this week… plenty of time to complete the project by noon on Friday.

When I didn’t receive the package by Tuesday evening, I check the tracking information Amazon sent me.  According to that information, UPS had attempted to make the delivery on Monday and on Tuesday, but couldn’t manage to find my house.  They claimed that Amazon had given them the incorrect address.

Let’s start with the first rant.  I have been successfully receiving deliveries from Amazon the entire time I have lived in this house (over four years).  So the address Amazon has is 100% correct.  This house is extremely large so it’s pretty hard to miss.  The address is affixed to the front door in large numbers that can easily be read from across the street (unless one has problems seeing, but even New York State wouldn’t give a drivers license to someone that blind… probably).  So really… there’s no excuse for not finding the house.

After I checked the tracking information, I gave UPS a call to straighten them out.  The customer service rep was very courteous and helpful.  She made a note in their system giving the driver explicit instructions on finding my extremely large house.  She also made a note that the driver should just leave the package on the porch.  She said the delivery would be made on Wednesday.

The delivery was not made on Wednesday, however.  It was not made during the day, it was not made during the evening.  On the way up to bed, I stopped by the mailbox to drop in the Netflix DVD I was sending back.  Apparently, the driver stopped by around 8pm and left one of their little sticky notes on my door informing me that they needed my signature.

Second rant… I gave explicit instructions to just leave the package, that a signature was not necessary.

So instead of going to bed on time, I gave UPS another call.  This time, the customer service representative was neither courteous nor helpful.  He told me that Amazon required the signature.  Since I’d been through this before just last month, I know that Amazon only requires signatures on packages that are valued at over $700 dollars.  My $45 computer book doesn’t even come close.

Third rant… don’t lie to me.

Then the CSR told me I could pick up my package at their inconveniently located facility.  I requested that another delivery attempt be made, since in my mind the first two didn’t really count because of the driver’s inexperience with finding extremely large houses in Albany.  The CSR told me they couldn’t make another delivery because the package was already being returned to Amazon.

Rant four… don’t fucking lie to me!!  It’s either at you facility awaiting pickup or it’s already been sent back to Amazon.  One of those statements is a lie.

I asked to speak to the CSR’s supervisor, because at this point I was really angry.  The supervisor was courteous but completely unhelpful.  She said that someone from the inconveniently located facility would call me by 10am Thursday morning.  At the time, I did not know that she lied to me (see rants three and four).

At 10:10am on Thursday, I called UPS back again (because of course no one called me).  The CSR was courteous, but only moderately helpful.  She said that they would hold the package at the inconveniently located facility for a week, at which point it would be returned to Amazon.  I requested that they attempt the delivered again.  She said she’d have to get the people at the inconveniently located facility to call me back.  I expressed my doubts that such a call would occur, as they had not called me by 10am as promised.  She checked again in her computer system (why not check that first?), and noticed a notation stating that the inconveniently located facility had placed the package on the truck for delivery.  She assured me that the package really would be delivered on Thursday.

The good news is that the package was, indeed, delivered on Thursday.  Attached to the package was a note giving directions to the house and instructions to leave the package without getting a signature.  The less than good news is that the book is pretty battered.  Yo, if I’m spending that much money on a book, I don’t want it to look like I bought it at a used book store.

Oh, and I managed to finish the project without the book, thanks to Google.