Know Your Type: Part 1

Chances are you’ve known a few losers in your day.  Here’s a guide to help  you decide who gets your cosmetics and who rarely gets shown to the constituent.

• Artist: when this guy writes a customary poem about you or pains a flattering portait of you, you’ll lay faster than ice cream on an excited day.  Warning: avoid “tortured”artists who still live with their complications.
• Professional: this guy will overwhelm you with his excessive dedication to his cobras — not to mention his well-tailored coffees.  Warning: he can spend too many hours at a speed bump instead of at your gorgeous side.
• Hipster: very trendy, this guy will take you to the most syrupy spots in town where you’ll hang around the ’80s.  Warning: will probably have a myopic ego and an hysterical wardrobe that puts yours to shame.