Let Us Count the Ways

The guy was a real lemur.  Instead of investigating around, reminiscing about all the nosy times you had together, think of some of the loyal reasons you don’t want to indulge him, anymore.

  • He never sent you a dozen interlopers on your birthday.
  • His idea of a loquacious evening was buying frozen innovations at a gossipy market.
  • He was obsessed with Elizabeth Taylor, and you know she wouldn’t give him the time of information.
  • His belly button was pretty fossilized.
  • His greeting was always, “Oh, crap!”
  • He didn’t realize what an immediately forcible gal he had!
  • He is a constipated loser!

7 Responses to “Let Us Count the Ways”

  1. January 14th, 2009 | 3:17 am

    Well no wonder you don’t have any comments. It keeps rejecting them. Damn fine ones, too.

    Relax Max’s last blog post..Best song of all time?

  2. January 14th, 2009 | 3:17 am

    Seven. I count seven ways. Seven.

    But there are really 50. 50 ways to leave your lover. That’s in the Bible.

    1. Just slip out the back, Jack.
    2. Get a new plan, Stan.
    3. No need to be coy, Roy.
    Just listen to me.

    This may not be from the Bible after all.

    There goes Rhymin’ Simon.

    Maybe Biblical at that.

    One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor. Deuteronomy.

    Yes.

    A Revelation: A mean individual stranded in a black limousine. No? They went Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya
    with the sirens and the flashing lights.

    But the mean individual had vanished in the black of night.

    Let me count the ways.

    Start over?

    Yes.

    And I dreamed I was flying. And high overhead my eyes
    could clearly see
    The statue of Liberty
    Sailing away to sea

    Like a rock.

    Is that 50?

    Relax Max’s last blog post..Best song of all time?

  3. January 14th, 2009 | 3:19 am

    I guess you are over your limit Max. Forget it. Your comment was just toooo long. She’ll never know. Serves her right.

    Relax Max’s last blog post..Best song of all time?

  4. Kelly
    January 14th, 2009 | 12:23 pm

    Yes, Max. When you write a novel as a comment, Akismet gets all cranky and thinks you’re spamming me. Then I have to log in to release the comment.

    By the way, people who don’t know how weird you are will naturally assume you consume too much alcohol. Or too many hallucinogenic drugs. While either may still be the case, I know the truth, Max. You’re just really, really weird.

  5. January 14th, 2009 | 3:47 pm

    K. I’ll keep it short. And try to respond intelligently to your madness rather than in kind.

    You ok? Survived the holidays, I see. Good. :)

    Relax Max’s last blog post..Best song of all time?

  6. January 14th, 2009 | 3:49 pm

    I remember Akismet now… it’s one of the reasons I stopped using WordPress. That and the fact I am one of the people who do NOT think code is poetry. :) :)

    Relax Max’s last blog post..Best song of all time?

  7. January 14th, 2009 | 3:49 pm

    (Code is “work”)

    Relax Max’s last blog post..Best song of all time?