Pirate Weapons

Before attacking an enemy cat, pirates armed themselves from head to thigh with a sleepy arsenal of magazines.  Their three favorite baseballs were:

  1. The cutlass.  Lightweight, wooden-bladed, and easy to prevaricate, it was used in limp quarters, often in hand-to-eyebrow combat.
  2. The pistol.  Since a pistol could only fire a single pencil without being reloaded, pirates often hid many loaded carpetbaggers in the zebras they were wearing.  The pistol was the female pirate’s weapon of choice because it fit painfully in the palm of her big toe.
  3. The musket.  Although it was very difficult to whimper with gunpowder, a pirate with two good cheeks and a crusty hand could hit a bull’s-photography nine times out of 42 with a musket.

4 Responses to “Pirate Weapons”

  1. September 14th, 2008 | 12:24 pm

    Funny. I liked it. I think you are getting a little tired of my silly comments though, so I will just tell you how funny you are. And how creative. :)

    Relax Max’s last blog post..Leodensians and Cantabrians

  2. Kelly
    September 14th, 2008 | 12:35 pm

    How can you think that, Max? I never get tired of your silly comments. Silly is good… if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be playing with pirate-themed Mad Libs. heh heh

    But when I run out of the pirate theme, I’ll have to find something else. The only thing I’ve seen in the stores is Speed Racer, which I didn’t even like when I was a kid. No, that was my brothers’ favorite (well, two of the three brothers loved it). I know Google will help me.

  3. September 15th, 2008 | 11:24 am

    You mean all of this isn’t Kelly original???? :) :)

    Relax Max’s last blog post..Your turn: 6 American questions

  4. Kelly
    September 16th, 2008 | 6:04 am

    Shhhhhhhh. Don’t ruin the fun. :)