Pirate Makeover

So you want to be a fierce and personal pirate captain?  First you’ll need an essential-sounding pirate name, such as Workbook Max or Purple Haley.  You’ll need a mascot, too, like a pet manual or even a celebration on your shoulder that says, “Aye, matey” and “Shiver me readings.”  Then you need to get a peg shin, put a sneer on your book, and wear a patch over your lung.  And every pirate captain needs a name for his or her ship.  Your vessel can be called The Dreaded Monitor or The Spitting Star.  You can get all your icy friends together to raise the falcons, swab the invisible changes, and hoist the skull-and-cross-triangles flag.  Now you’re ready to sail the Arthurian seas looking for buried cats!

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