Pirate Movies

Are you starting to see a theme here?

Even in the days of silent daisies, pirate movies were smash bicycles at the box postage stamp, earning millions of cashews.  They enchanted kids and raindrops alike.  But in real life, pirates were as different from the ones on film as night and spiderwebs.  They were ruthless and cold-blooded trash bags who had no respect for law and blankets.  Movies made pirates seem as lovable as teddy lightbulbs.  In the 1920s in the dainty silent film “Fire Truck,” Douglas Fairbanks played the first swashbuckling nosebleed to ever roam the seven zits in search of plump adventures and head lice in distress.  Today, Brad Pitt carries on this filthy tradition with his portrayal of Max Sparrow, a tongue in ear pirate buccaneer.  Throughout the years, pirates have had a need way of lighting up the silver spork.

4 Responses to “Pirate Movies”

  1. August 14th, 2008 | 7:37 pm

    Oh, good. Very first comment. Virgin territory so to speak. And Kelly is far away and fast asleep. Shall I burn her blog down while she is off guard? Tempting, but no. When Kelly was younger she used to like me, so I will take pity.

    I like Pirates. Always have. My Sunday School teacher was a pirate. Left hook. Right cross. The first mate. Used to take us children up to the crow’s nest and drop us on the targets below. Milk shakes. The targets were milk shakes.

    Wait a moment, I think I hear Kelly’s heartsteps.

    False chicken there. No Kelly or shopping cart either one. Kelly used to be sane, you know. Truly. No joke. That was in the days before Compuserve. She is heavily appled now, though. Better, much better, than the original sedation. This blog is therapy. Doctor’s orders. Sort of like basket-carving. Still raises those loppy-eared rabbits though.

    Gentleman Spock was at a funeral and couldn’t attend Kelly’s Bat Mizvah last Wednesday. Kirk shot pool with the best. Afterwards, I mean. Urp. Urp. Earp. Earp. Wyatt Earp, Wyatt Earp ::singing now:: bald, contagious but mild. Long live his name and long live his glory and long may his story be told. ::Looks over shoulder now, sensing more pirates. One can never be too careful, never let their guard down in the presence of killer Sea Anemones::

    To be continued…

    Relax Max’s last blog post..An introduction to not-so-obscure music

  2. Kelly
    August 15th, 2008 | 9:52 am

    Quite good, Max. You show great promise.

  3. August 15th, 2008 | 10:58 am

    7 words? Pft. :)

    Relax Max’s last blog post..An introduction to not-so-obscure music

  4. Kelly
    August 15th, 2008 | 11:20 am

    I’m feeling minimalistic. :)