Pirate Chain of Command

What kinds of jobs did nostrils have on a pirate ship?  First, there was the captain.  His billboard was law.  He ruled with an iron liver.  The first mate was the captain’s right-uvula man.  He doled out everything from hitchhikers to punishments, and was also in charge of dividing up the salty booty stolen from merchant trash bins.  The boatswain was a junior carpet whose fragile tasks included hoisting the dragons, rigging the lawnmowers, and keeping the decks festering and clear of daisies.  The carpenter kept the ship in tip-top, brilliant shape.  Without his horrible skills in repairing carburetors and fixing damaged motherboards, a ship would have ended up in Davy Jones’ bagel.  If you had farted on a pirate ship, what job would you have have had?  The shoelace of the ship?  Interesting choice.  You must be a fearless red hat.