Dear Dr. Kwesi

Dear Dr. Kwesi,

You have my condolences regarding your son’s illness. I know how heavily a child’s lack of health can weigh on a parent’s mind.

That being said, however, I must confess to a great deal of confusion regarding a great many things in your correspondence. First, your email makes little sense overall. Generally, these sorts of scams make it clear that you’re looking for some sort of gullible person to do something for you. As a reference for crafting future emails, you might take a look at the email I received from David Kuku. His was quite good.

Second, simply stating that your email is not a scam or junk mail does not change its nature. Repeating a thing, no matter now sincerely or forcefully, does not make it true. You’ll want to speak to the American president George W. Bush about that. Ask him about weapons of mass destruction.

Lastly, this “good friend” of yours who gave you my contact information is clearly a fraud, as I know no one in the Ghana Chamber of Commerce.

My advice to you, Dr. Kwesi, is to change careers immediately. It seems that the field of accounting is beyond your ken. Only a few, very special people are not driven to madness by the powers inherent in Numbers Coupled With Currency Indicators. For the sake of your family, get out now.

A Concerned Fellow Human

4 Responses to “Dear Dr. Kwesi”

  1. July 4th, 2008 | 7:12 am

    Thanks for everything. You’ve been so great that I want to give you something else. I know you certainly won’t want this on your other site – but here? Who knows. Anyway, I’ve bestowed upon you the prestigious ‘Honourary Canucklehead’ award – you may pick it up here if you are so inclined:

    Hope you have a wonderful Independence Day and all the best.

  2. July 4th, 2008 | 5:24 pm

    Ummm…I work for the Ghana Chamber of Commerce. Sorry.

    PS- be sure and take the Canucklehead award. Hardly anyone else has been offered it.

  3. Kelly
    July 4th, 2008 | 10:17 pm

    @Canucklehead… it would be an honor to be an honorary Canuck! Does this mean I won’t have any problems crossing the border the next time I visit, or is this going to cause me more problems? Either way is fine. :)

    @Max… well, you certainly get around, don’t you? All this time I thought you were out in the American Southwest, and you were actually in Ghana. Sneaky, Max. Very sneaky.

  4. July 6th, 2008 | 11:57 pm

    Wow, you’re funny. I should be in bed, having endured a four hour flight earlier today in close proximity to two bickering eight-year-olds (one of them mine) after concluding a simultaneously fun and weird long weekend in a third world country. Instead, I’m scrolling through your posts, snickering all the way.

    Oh heck — I’ll check back tomorrow. I need to get some sleep.